Can you hear me now? Combining these topics today because I had a big day the other day and it took a day to decompress.
I went on a bus trip with the local church group called “The Grown Ups” to an Indian casino about 2-1/2 hours away. We left home at about 8 AM. My husband was going to come but at the last minute he had to stay home because his back was stiffening and the cramped seats on the bus would not have been good for him. My mom and I and our friend Mike sat at the back of the bus. We had a good time chatting the time away.
When we got to the casino we gambled for a while and then my mom and I had lunch with my niece who met us there. After a little more gambling we got back on the bus to go home. Unfortunately, none of us were winners this trip. Since we had spent the way up talking and story telling, on the way home I took out some magazines and was going through them. My mom started to take a nap, I thought.
I looked over at her and I knew immediately there was something wrong. Her eyes were open and staring and she was not responding to my calling her name. “Mom, mom, can you hear me?” Long story short, the bus had to pull over and paramedics were called to come to check her and it was determined that she needed to be taken to the nearest emergency room.
Fortunately it was not anything too serious although at 95 you can never be too careful. Tests were taken and it was determined she had a bit of dehydration and a urinary tract infection. They gave her some fluids and a prescription for an antibiotics. We had to wait in the waiting room for 2 hours while my husband and our daughter came up to get us because of course the bus had gone on home. While we were waiting my mom and I had a discussion about what had happened and she kept saying that because she had felt no pain, she didn’t think anything was wrong, although she did admit that earlier in the week she had felt a little woosey at times but she didn’t want to tell me because she was afraid I would tell her not to go on the trip or, worse in her eyes, go to the doctors!
I explained to her that she needed to listen to her body more and that feeling woosey is not a normal thing. I also told her that she needs to be more forthcoming with me and tell me when she is experiencing something like that. I can help her decide if it is something that is urgent or if we can wait a bit before going to the doctors. She is still living on her own and drives herself to church and to the grocery store but if she is having “spells” I don’t want her doing that. She said she understood.
Do you have parents who listen to you? Do you listen to your body? Can you blame me for scolding my mom?
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Gosh, I’m so glad it wasn’t anything too serious. I love that she didn’t want to miss the trip! 🙂
I do not listen to my body, because the anxiety disorder would have me in the ER regularly and doctors would fire me. Okay, they wouldn’t, they would (did) tell me I have anxiety disorder, obviously, lol, but I feel woozy lots and I have other health issues, so my baseline for normal is rather askew.
My parents never tell me anything until AFTER. It’s terrible. I’m always finding out AFTER, because they don’t want to worry me. This means they lie to me regularly, and I only find out later when it’s all good. I lost my father last year, and he had always been honest with me, which I really appreciated.I have vowed to neither worry my children with every little thing, but to not keep the big things from them, either.
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I agree. My kids tell me I am too calm when I tell them things 🙂
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Mom was always smarter than everyone else, so there wasn’t much we could say that would have made a difference. It wasn’t until she was so sick that she went to the hospital, and it was her sister that did that.
It sounds like you had a good time leading up to that, but that must have been scary.
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I really was afraid at first because she was just staring and her pulse was down to about 40. We did have a good time earlier but I’m afraid it was the last time. She even said she’s not sure she can go anymore.
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These are the tough years especially when she’s as healthy (mostly) and independent as you say. My mom willingly gave up driving, partly because she hated it and also because she like to have us chauffeur her around. I think she regretted it though at times. My best (or worst) story has to do with my friend and her mother (age late 80s). She got her mother one of the buttons you press for help when you fall. One day my friend couldn’t get a hold of her mom. She drove over and her mother was lying on the floor. The button (on a lanyard) did not match her outfit so she didn’t wear it that day. She laid on the floor for several hours waiting for help. I can’t even imagine how terrifying that was for you and I’m glad she’s better. Dehydration is a big deal with older people. I can tell when I have it and I’ve made a conscious effort to drink water during the day. Good luck.
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My mom doesn’t want to “bother” me with things because she says I am so busy with work and my own family. I told her it is less of a “bother” to have her call and tell me things than it is to have to take her to the ER because she waited too long. LOL (but not really) about the button. I am telling my mom to bring her cellphone with her to every room. I don’t think she listens.
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No they don’t listen. BTW that fall was the beginning of the end for my friend’s mother. I can’t remember the specifics but she died within a few months of that incident. They were afraid to leave her alone so one of the grandkids slept overnight with her.
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