Well it’s a good news/bad news day for me today. The good news is that our daughter is doing really well after her jaw surgery. I am so impressed by the fact that she is only having to deal with some rubber bands holding her mouth together and she can remove the bands to brush her teeth and they are wide enough to permit her to use the large syringe without the tubing in order to eat. When I had the surgery done my mouth was completely held together by wires for six weeks and I had to use a tubing at the end of the syringe which I slipped down the side of my cheek toward the back of my mouth. Surgical techniques sure have come a long way! She is not in a lot of pain and while she has had some uncomfortable days, it is going along smoothly.
The bad news is that we lost my mom on Friday. I’m still kind of in shock at how quickly she went, but also grateful that she did not suffer and that she was the one directing the action for the most part. When she was offered ventilation, she refused. She knew the potential consequences and chose not to try the antiviral medication either. When she slipped out of touch with us by not opening her eyes or even acknowledging my sister’s presence we knew she was on her way to be with our dad. It is interesting that January 11 would have been their 80th anniversary. The 17th was the day my dad passed away 40 years ago so I think he called her up to have a second honeymoon.
Of course I thought she was invincible when she walked across the Golden Gate Bridge with us at age 90!
So for the last few days I’ve been working in my studio and listening to Dean Martin and the Rat Pack sing the songs I grew up with. I’ve only cried a couple times. I’ve been getting lots of condolences from friends and I realize that almost everyone has lost at least one if not both of their parents by now so I am extremely grateful for the length of time I have had her and the fact that she was here at Christmas and we had such a good time. She told me that she felt like she was wanted and that she belonged, not like we were just having her as an obligation. That is the best memory. RIP mom. Hope you and dad are dancing to all this music!